The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition by Gary Chapman

Author:Gary Chapman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2017-04-21T16:00:00+00:00

4. Practice Serving Others

A fourth purpose of dating is that it provides an opportunity to serve others. History is replete with examples of men and women who discovered that humanity’s greatest contribution is in giving to others. Who does not know of Mother Teresa? Her name is synonymous with service. In Africa there was Albert Schweitzer, and in India, Mohandas Gandhi. Most people who have studied the life of Jesus of Nazareth agree that His life can be summarized by His simple act of washing the feet of His disciples. He Himself said, “[I] did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give [My] life as a ransom for many.”3 He instructed His followers, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”4 True greatness is expressed in serving.

I do not mean to convey the idea that dating should be done in a spirit of martyrdom—“Poor ol’ me. I have to do this service as my duty,” or “If I serve this guy, maybe he will like me.” Ministry (serving) is different from martyrdom. Ministry is something we do for others, whereas martyrdom is something others bring upon us.

Dating is always a two-way street. Certainly we receive something from the relationship, but we are also to be contributing to the life of the person we are dating. Immeasurable good could be accomplished if we could see service as one of the purposes of dating. Many a reserved fellow could be “drawn out” by the wise questions of a dating partner. Many a hothead could be calmed by the truth spoken in love.

Taking ministry seriously may change your attitude toward dating. You have been trained to “put your best foot forward” so that the other person will be impressed by you. So you may have been reluctant to speak to your partner’s weaknesses, fearing he or she would walk away from you. Genuine service demands that we speak the truth in love. We do not serve each other by avoiding one another’s weaknesses.

Fortunately, not all of our service involves pointing out the weaknesses of our dating partners. Often we help them simply by listening as they share their struggles. Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart. Jim was dating Tricia when her father died of a heart attack. They had only been dating a few weeks, but Jim sensed that she wanted him to be with her. So he sat with the family for the memorial service and accompanied Tricia to the burial. The next few weeks he often asked her questions about her father and let her talk freely of her memories.

In doing this, Jim was helping Tricia work through the grief that so deeply pained her. Had they not been dating, he would not have had this opportunity to serve, which was extremely helpful for Tricia.

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